My Life According to [poet]

There's a little Facebook meme for poetry fans with too much time on their hands called "My Life According to [poet]." The instructions are: "Using only poem titles from one poet, answer these questions. Pass it on people you like, including me. Do not repeat a title. Repost as 'My Life According to [poet].'"

So I did one using the poetry of Laura Kasischke. Although in some ways pointless, the exercise did give me a good excuse to get all of her books out and thumb through them, revisiting some of my favorite poems of hers. I've posted it below. I've also posted my wife's list, which she did according to Shel Silverstein. I know I am biased, but I found her list to be infinitely adorable, especially considering the fact that she gave birth to our son a mere six weeks ago and he's breastfeeding. You'll see what I mean.

D'Anne's Life According to Laura Kasischke
(NOTE: I picked Laura because I love her poetry and also because I own all of her books. After doing this I realize that using 7 books made this take a lot more time than a woman with a 5 week old baby really has. Still. I did it.)

Are you a male or female?
Miss Congeniality

Describe yourself:
I am the Coward Who Did Not Pick Up the Phone

How do you feel:
Woman in a Girdle

Describe where you currently live:
Summer, Here

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Guide to Imaginary Places

Dream vacation:
Grand Rapids Woman Last Seen at Motel 6

Where you feel safe:
Arms

Your favorite form of transportation:
Green Bicycle

What's the weather like:
Eighteen Days of Rain

Your favorite time of day:
Night

Your relationships:
What I Hear In Your Hair

Your friendships:
Where Are These Child Stars Now?

Your fear:
Murdered Girls

Your greatest regret:
A is for Almost

Your dream job:
Cocktail Waitress

Your alma mater:
Andy's Lanes & Lounge

Your name, if you could change it:
Barney

Your favorite color:
Gray, As Flowers

Your favorite food:
Confections

Your favorite part of the body:
The Tarred and Feathered Heart

Your biggest pet peeve:
The Cause of All My Suffering

Your worst habit:
Alcoholism

Your death:
Self-fulfilling Prophecies

Your religion:
The Visibility of Spirits

Your daily routine:
Housekeeping in a Dream

Your philosophy of life:
Fire & Flower

Your soul's present condition:
To Whom It May Concern

Your best advice:
Do Not Leave Baby Unattended

And here is my wife's:

My Life According to Shel Silverstein
(NOTE: I picked Silverstein because this is the poet I've read a whole book by. Don't get me wrong - I read grown up poetry too. I just prefer anthologies.)

Are you a male or female?
Betty

Describe yourself:
They've Put a Brassiere on the Camel

How do you feel:
Tired

Describe where you currently live:
Messy Room

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Quick Trip

Dream vacation:
Climbers

Where you feel safe:
Anchored

Your favorite form of transportation:
Magic Carpet

What's the weather like:
It's Hot!

Your favorite time of day:
Moon-Catchin' Net

Your relationships:
Ladies First

Your friendships:
Friendship

Your fear:
Tryin' on Clothes

Your greatest regret:
Fear

Your dream job:
Sword-Swallower

Your alma mater:
Buckin' Bronco

Your name, if you could change it:
Little Abigail and the Beautiful Pony

Your favorite color:
Oak and the Rose

Your favorite food:
Wild Strawberries

Your favorite part of the body:
Who Ordered the Broiled Face?

Your biggest pet peeve:
Importnt? [sic]

Your worst habit:
Nailbiter

Your death:
God's Wheel

Your religion:
If

Your daily routine:
How Not to Have to Dry the Dishes

Your philosophy of life:
Surprise!

Your soul's present condition:
Almost Perfect

Your best advice:
Have Fun