Thursday, April 12, 2012

Ladies, leave your labias alone. Not all girl things need to be pink.

“It burns if you put too much on, or use it other places.”

I learned this week that vagina tinting is a thing and
something fucked up has happened to Courtney Love’s face.
These things are/are not related. My mind cannot handle this.
Ladies, back away from the knife and the vamoose for your cooch.
How am I supposed to explain all of this to my son? I can sum up
the women’s studies class I took in college: Men think fucked up
things about women, and women think fucked up things about
themselves. Rah rah rah. Go laaaaaaaaaaadies! Which sounds
a lot like laaaaaaaaaaabias! Which all have to be pink now
even the lady parts of darker skinned ladies. You guys know
these things are made of skin and how skin works right?
Labia lightening, not to be confused with labia lightning, the
high voltage electrical discharge of a vagina storm. Beware.
That’s coming next, headed to a weather-vane near you.