Not to be confused with Malibu Barbie

Malibu Monkey is a brand of lemonade. Or, more aptly, a lemonade made by a guy who hates Hollywood, but desperately wants to be a part of it. So, really, it is so much more.

"Dale Carnegie famously said: 'If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.' I say: 'If life gives you hackneyed cliches and homespun parables, you are an unimaginative, slope-browed troglodyte, most likely working as a sitcom show runner or writing romantic comedies. If that is the case, then you are wealthy enough to buy my amazing Balsamic Lemonade or Basil-Infused Limeade by the truckload."

And what, really, are you waiting for? Unless, of course, you'd rather "hang yourself from one of 'O's' in the Hollywood sign with a noose made from your Kabbalah strings and rubber cancer-awareness bracelets." That suggestion comes right on the bottle, but unless you're a Hollywood agent, entertainment lawyer, or manager, don't worry. It doesn't apply to you.

Drink up, indeed.

Thanks, Videogum, for bringing this into my life. Or something.