Mike escapes

A gorilla named Mike had taste of freedom yesterday when he escaped from his enclosure in a South Carolina zoo. His foray was brief, however, as he quickly realized that he preferred the confines of the gorilla exhibit to more of South Carolina. He returned on his own, but not before tackling a pizza stand employee.

Thanks, Dad (also named Mike), for the tip. :)

There is also apparently a poet named Michael Witkowski who, as far as I know, is not my dad. He does, however, use the term "berserk nuns" in one of his poems, which is totally something my dad would say.